By: TheSaintsMistress
Hi everyone!
Welcome to your ficology lesson!
Today we’re discussing the fine line between writing an erotic lemon, and giving your readers an anatomy lesson.
When does detailed descriptions become too much?
There are two basic components with regards to the human/vampire reproductive system and how it’s used that you need to be aware of when describing a lemon.
Making Love
When you’re writing a sweet love story with gentle emotions and broken/sensitive characters you need to be careful of using crass descriptions of body parts. Instead of quivering members and slippery slits (LOL), rather describe their sexual organs using words like:
Manhood
Excitement
Bulge
Need
WARNING:
Beware of the corn!
Just because you’re deciding not to call a spade a spade, don’t go calling it a fluffy bunny either. If you’re not willing to wear it as a hat, don’t describe it as an accessory with gems and crystals and sparkly bits (unless it’s a sparkling vampire peen *snickers*).
Example 1 (don’t):
He touched the delicate, pink petals between her thighs as she wrapped her fingers around his shrine of beauty…
Example 2 (do):
I touched her gently, rubbing my hands over her thighs. When I lowered my head to her feminine excitement, I inhaled deeply; feeling my own need grow exponentially…
Fucking
If you’re writing something smuttier, you have almost free reign when it comes to describing your character’s body parts. Your audience will want that. Don’t write a gritty, highly sexually charged fic and then when the lemon comes (pun intended) fill it with sweet, delicate fluff.
WARNING:
Beware of the crass!
You should be cautious when it comes to over describing to the point where it’s bordering on a biology lesson or just plain gross crassness.
Example 1 (don’t):
His mammoth cock appeared as he slipped off his pants, giving me a glimpse of pre-cum dripping from its swollen purple head and the thick pulsating vein beneath…
Example 2 (do):
I could taste the ridges of his cock as he pushed into my mouth at a relentless pace. I swallowed when I felt the head hit the back of my throat and moaned…
Your lemon should make sense anatomically and mechanically. Though your character’s sexual prowess may have no bounds, be careful of not turning him/her into a circus freak.
A few mechanical facts
• The female vagina is approximately 6 inches deep. If your male character has a 9 inch penis, the chances that he’s going to be able to enter her balls deep (so to speak) are slim to none.
• If you describe your male character to be extremely tall and your female character to be extremely short, remember that certain sexual positions are going to create some trouble with the actual kissing (on lips) between thrusts part.
• A woman cannot actually feel her hymen tear. She may feel a pinching or burning pain, but not an actual tearing sensation.
• Most women can’t feel a man’s cum inside her. They can sometimes feel his penis throb or pulsate as he ejaculates, but not the actual semen.
• A lot of women do not enjoy direct stimulation to the clitoris until they are highly aroused. It is in most cases a very sensitive area of the female vagina and in a lot of instances, woman enjoy stimulation to the areas around the clit (labia). The more aroused the woman, the more direct contact to the clitoris she can take.
Pointers
• If you’re writing a sexual position that is not the usual straddling, missionary or doggy style position, I would suggest you get yourself visual aids to ensure that you place the legs/arms/hands/penis at the right place.
• Be careful not to describe their positions to the point where you either confuse your readers or hinder the flow of the lemon with anatomical facts.
• Be adventurous. You don’t have to settle for a normal sexual position (that’s been written to death) when there are so many to choose from. Websites where you can find Kama Sutra instructions are a great aid in this. They describe the mechanics of the positions which could be very useful when you start writing your scene. You can go to this link to find a few examples: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/
Write a lemon using a Karma Sutra position you’ve never come across in a fic before (you can use the link above to check out some…interesting…techniques).
Write what turns you on. Steer clear from overly descriptive lemons where body parts and sexual positions become a biology lesson. Instead of being focused on what his penis or her vagina looks like, rather describe how the use of said body part makes the character feel. There are other senses apart from sight that are very handy and erotic when used correctly. Touch, smell, taste are all great tools to get your readers in the mood.
Good luck and happy smutting! ☺
With love,
Your Mistress
xoxo
Here is another very good visual aid. I hope it helps someone else as much as it helps me =).
http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_index.shtml
Great link, bb!
I really appreciate those mechanical facts and pointers. They’re easily forgotten in the heat of writing a lemon. Some readers catch the mechanical mistakes; some don’t, but pulling out (of the scene) is no fun for either party — reader and author.
And maybe it’s only me, but “petals” is just as bad as “moist lips.” *shudder*
Great article, Mistress! Our homework … not what I was expecting (I thought cold vamps and warm humans). It’s awesome, nonetheless, and I’m looking forward to reading everyone’s.
Oh, I can’t wait to read te homework assignments either!
xoxo
There were points and facts in this lesson that I NEVER thought or even knew of before! Great start to what shall be a good semester!
And I’m thankful of this homework assignment. I’m always *thinking* the body parts need to be described or what’s going where but I’m an emotional writer so trying to convey feeling is right up my ally!!
Yay! Glad you found a few pointers that will help you out!
xoxo
Thanks for the lesson, Saints! I was just curious about RandropSoup’s comment about warm humans and cold vampires. Are vampires really cold all throughout their body or can they warm up after skin-to-skin contact with a human? And will they be warm “down there” as well? Thanks!
Can’t wait to read more about those Kama Sutra positions!
Hi Shyla!
It’s my pleasure.
With regards to your question about the body heat of vampires…because they don’t really exist and are therefore fictional characters, you can do with them whatever you like.
You can make it up as you go! That’s the best part of writing AU fics.
If you want your vamps to warm up upon skin-to-skin contact with humans, then they can.
If you want them to stay cold, that’s your choice too.
Hope this answers your questions.
Good luck!
xoxo
Hmmm… Creative freedom. I love the sound of that.
Thanks for clearing that up!xo
Sorry I missed the live chat. I like this lesson. I know I’m guilty of some of these infractions and will make a concious effort to be better with my descriptions.
I’ve actually used both the cosmo and the sex101 sites in my story. When you have a story with lots of sex, you have to research sites or become very sexually active to come up with material to write about.
Thank you for the pointers.
Hi!
It’s my pleasure, hon. So happy you found a few things in this lesson that could help you in future.
Looking forward to reading your homework assignment.
xoxo
Looking forward to this lesson and reading everyone’s assignment!
Great article!
Yay!
Thanks, hon! I’m looking forward to the assignments too! Some that have already posted has blown my mind.
xoxo
Thanks so much Mistress! Great lecture. I was so sad to miss the chat, but looking forward to writing my homework. You’ve definitely assigned a challenging one!
Sorry you couldn’t make the chat either. Next time.
Keep up the good work, bb!
xoxo
I have a sudedn urge to do naughty things with gummy bears! Great Article!
Hey there, You have done a fantastic job. I’ll definitely digg it and personally suggest to my friends. I am confident they will be benefited from this site.
First, great lesson! And can I just say how helpful your visual graphics were? LOL Loved Rob’s commentary running through.
~kdc2239