By: Opal Aline

Writing a virgin sex scene—simple: two people with mutual attraction get naked and have sex, and that’s all there is to it, right? Not so much. There are literally hundreds of variables that affect the environment and mindset of the individuals in the coupling.

One of the first things you need to consider before you throw your characters into the sack is their past, their experiences. Obviously if you are writing a virgin scene, at least one of your characters has no experience with actual intercourse, but there are many other sexual experiences they may have had. All of these things will affect your characters’ perception and attitude going into their first time.

If you have a character coming in with experience, be it sex or just heavy petting, you should touch on that at least briefly. It will allow the reader to have some insight as to where your character is coming from.

Age is another key aspect. A forty-year-old virgin and a sixteen-year-old virgin are going to have very different perceptions and expectations of sex.

Time period and culture should also be taken into consideration. For example, if you are writing a story from the Middle Ages and your female character loses her virginity outside of marriage, that would have been a huge dishonor to her father’s household, not to mention a social taboo.
Certain cultures and religions have specific rituals and customs pertaining to virginity—keep these in mind if you are writing a story where they would be appropriate, and be sure to fully research for details and facts. You want to come across as someone who knows what they are talking about.

Another important aspect of virgin sex scenes is contraception – is it being used? What kind? And if they aren’t using any, why? Does the character have thoughts or feelings about using it? Answering all these questions will help you give your scene and your readers a more authentic experience.

Something else to consider is the mental state of your character. Are they ready for sex on a mental and emotional level? If you are writing a sex scene where one or neither of your characters is ready, what is the fallout from that? How do they move on from a negative sexual experience?

Of course an issue for female characters is the hymen. Many stories refer to it as a barrier – I don’t recommend this. Calling it a barrier implies there is some kind of wall in there, which there is not. The hymen is a mucus membrane that stretches and breaks easily. Many women have had their hymens torn from being active, long before sexual intercourse.
The pain varies from woman to woman. If she is well lubricated and has no physiological reasons for pain, then any discomfort is minimal and usually short lived.
As to whether or not the male can feel it breaking…that’s debatable. If he is experienced, he may notice a difference in tightness. But if he is a virgin, he has no comparison and won’t know either way.

Lastly, just keep everything grounded in reality. Of course your characters are your babies and you want them to have hot, amazing sex, but first time around it probably isn’t going to happen. Sex is a learning experience…learning what you like, learning what your partner likes. No one is going to be a sexpert on their first go ‘round. A bedroom personality is something that comes with time.

Let your characters learn and grow – let them make mistakes and fail.

Most of all, have fun. If you find the process enjoyable, it will come across in your writing.

Write a scene featuring two virgins – any pairing is fine, so long as both are virgins.